The Four Stages of Eurovision Grief

By | May 23, 2015

eurovisionIt’s the Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final tonight!

It starts at 8pm in the UK, you can watch it on BBC1 with Graham Norton commentating and Nigella Lawson giving the UK results (also Ken Bruce on Radio 2).

Alternatively for international (or indeed UK viewers) you can watch the whole thing live on eurovision.tv or this year on Youtube.

Watch as the UK entry Electro Velvet STORMS to a towards-the-bottom placed finish.

I thought of something quite funny a while ago, the Four Stages of Eurovision Grief. Unfortunately this afternoon I forgot one of the stages so I’ve had to improvise and I’m not sure how much I like it, so consider this a “work-in-progress” “gag”.

  • There is definitely no political voting in the ESC.
  • Look, it’s not political, it’s all about a shared culture – The Russian song is so intrinsically Russian all their neighbours will feel like voting for it.
  • Look, it is a song contest.
  • Yeah well, Ireland always give us points every year so stop complaining.

I don’t really care who wins, I do have a little bit of money riding on the UK doing quite badly (the reasons people have given for why the UK might do quite well are faintly astonishing, “it’s quaint so the Europeans will love it” is amusingly patronising and “it’s upbeat so it’s memorable in a sea of ballads” doesn’t automatically mean anyone’s going to pick up the phone for it, it’s also fifth in a running order of twenty-seven).

We shall see.

3 thoughts on “The Four Stages of Eurovision Grief

  1. Brig Bother Post author

    Going through the speadsheet by eye, the juries alone would have given us 8 points, and the televote alone would have given us eight points.

    Of course Macedonia and Montenego’s jury vote was cancelled and San Marino didn’t have a televote.

    Reply
  2. Alex

    Considering points-wise, the score for Heroes was the third greatest ever, they played the result order brilliantly.

    Reply

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