The Cellar

It’s the Saturday night television battle that THE WHOLE WORLD is waiting for. IN THE BLUE CORNER, the reigning champion of the world, a variety talent show that let’s be honest might as well be a singing competition Britain’s Got Talent (ITV1, 8pm) and IN THE RED CORNER worldwide undefeated up and coming singing sensation The Voice UK (7pm, BBC1). WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN? Needless to say, I’m actually going out this evening.

Or maybe you’d like to try the special third option, Elton vs Simon: The Liveshow is on Pro Sieben 7:15 UK time (and hopefully live streaming) this evening. Elton vs Simon is the German adaptation of the Canadian show Kenny vs Spenny, except a bit more game-y, but likewise the loser faces a hilarious forfeit. And this time it’s LIVE!

Tonight also sees two of The Saturdays take on The Million Pound Drop, returning for a new run tonight from 9:20pm on C4.

And tomorrow we’re playing Pot Limit Omaha as part of Mix It Up Real Good. In theory it’s 8pm UK time, although as the clocks change this evening don’t be surprised if I have to cancel it tomorrow morning and then redo it so it starts at the correct time. Register now!!!

Edit: And the results! Massive numbers for The Voice, it’s really hit the ground running.

It’s the Board of Excitement Mother’s Day SPECIAL! I say special, it’s exactly the same as all the other ones. Still, this one comes with extra freaking-out-American-ness, as they celebrate their Mother’s Day on a different day because they have to be different.

• The Bother Series of Poker Round Six - Mother’s Day SPECIAL! I say special, it’s exactly the same as all the other ones. £5.50 to enter, open to all regardless of ability or league ambition. We’re halfway after this game! (8pm, Sunday, Pokerstars)
• Don’t Stop Me Now – aka 101 Ways To Leave a Talent Show (joke copyright Buzzerblog) (8pm, Sunday, Sky One)
• Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Mother’s Day SPECIAL! I say special, it’s exactly the same as all the other ones. Steve Pemberton, Anthony Cotton and Samantha Womack team up with their mums to win lots of money for charity, and hopefully a viewer at home. (8:30pm, Sunday, ITV1)
• Only Connect Sport Relief Special – it’s a shame Sport Relief doesn’t really have a “thing” like Pudsey’s eyepatch or Comic Relief’s red noses. Maybe Victoria Coren will do the missing vowels round whilst running a mile. But one thing YOU won’t be running a mile from, right, are these celebrities!  The teams are the Cutters (Nick Hornby, Mark Gatiss, Samira Ahmed) and the Backhanders (Ian Hislop, Stephen Mangan and Allison Pearson). (8:30pm, Monday, BBC4)
• Four Rooms – Last year’s surprise hit is BACK! (8pm, Wednesday, C4)
• Accumulate! – It’s the last one ever! Now into its second season, according to the website. Dan Peake won some sort of lifetime student television acheievement award the other night, apparently. (Wendesday, RU:ON)
• The Apprentice - This has started a little bit earlier this year. Exciting. (9pm, Wednesday, BBC1)
• Sport Relief – Please give generously. (Basically all day, BBC)
• Winter Wipeout Celebrity Special – why they’re showing this now and not before the rugby and saving Pointless Celebs for a full run I do not know. (6pm, Saturday, BBC1)
• The Voice UK - It’s been a long build up, but it’s finally here. (7pm, Saturday, BBC1)
• Britain’s Got Talent - It’s the Saturday night TV clash we’ve all been waiting for. (8pm, Saturday, ITV1)
• The Million Pound Drop – Live! Now at one hour and forty five minutes, The Drop returns next weekend on Saturday and Sunday before going back to trad. Friday and Saturday rotation. This Saturday (the day) two of The Saturdays (the band) will be playing for charity. Apparently this series will be featuring some exciting twists – fingers crossed for a shoehorned in prisoner’s dilemma element!!!! (9:20pm, Saturday, C4)

We might try and watch Elton vs Simon – The Liveshow on Pro Sieben next Saturday as well. It probably won’t last six hours like Schlag den Raab did last night.