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Eurovision 2008
Yes! It's time once again to listen to all the songs so you don't have to. All the videos can be found on the official site. We've linked to each one.
This year we break the songs up into three groups - the first semi-final, the second semi-final and the five finalists. The top nine from each semi go through to the final as will a tenth as decided by a backstage jury.
So without further ado, let's take a listen. Like on television we're only going to listen to each song once before passing judgement. The Betfair odds are correct at the time of writing.
20th May: Semi Final 1
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Opening riff is The Bends era Radiohead, the rest is far less interesting sounding like early 90s rock. It's difficult to tell where the verse stops and the chorus starts which is never a very good sign for this sort of thing.
Current Betfair odds: 660
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Tonight Matthew I'm going to be... CJ from Eggheads! This is a big ol' ballad with a big powerful bit. Some of it is in English. It's a bit boring compared last year's Push the Button. If he can belt it out on the night it may be in with a small chance (if Serbia managed to win last year...) but don't go betting the house on it.
Current Betfair odds: 55
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It's this year's first comedy entry! Some fat ugly blokes attempt a sort of reversioning of last year's Ukrainian Dancing Lasha Tumbai via a Europop remix of the theme from The Banana Splits. The results are terrifying.
Current Betfair odds: 220
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The opening sounds like it should be a part of an 80s romantic sitcom in the Just Good Friends stylee, the singer sounds like a combination of Sade and the late Kirsty McColl. Awesome.
It's Viva Forever by the Spice Girls - the light 80s sitcom theme version.
Current Betfair odds: 500
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Credible San Marino-ian soft epic rock which I rather suspect will get lost on the night.
Current Betfair odds: 650
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A bit of kooky Belgian girl group operatic folk, there. This one might surprise.
Current Betfair odds: 260
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Well the video for this is excellent, it's an angel and a devil having an argument over a bit of high-energy operatic rock. Lord knows how this will play out on stage. We like it, though.
Current Betfair odds: 170
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It's our first credible pop-dance tune of the evening. I expect there will be better ones though. Not bad though.
Current Betfair odds: 170
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This is spectacularly uninteresting.
Current Betfair odds: 44
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This starts out like a Boyzone record. But it's a female! Amazing. It is about as interesting as a Boyzone record as well. I think she's trying to be Mariah Carey.
Current Betfair odds: 210
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It's ironic internet favourite Dustin the Turkey!
Actually this is quite good in the same way Dancing Lasha Tumbai was actually quite good last year. Most of Europe won't get the jokes, but most countries get a cheeky mention at the end. This will go all the way or won't make it past the semi.
Current Betfair odds: 10.5
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Ah, last year's Bother's Bar favourite this year comes back with a one-woman Steps with a big shouty chorus. This is a bit too one-note to win I think but catchy enough so it should sail through the semis.
Current Betfair odds: 180
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BOSNIA AND HERGEGOVINA
Laka
Pokušaj
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Well the lead singer carries a chicken onto the stage and looks a bit like a zombie. This is the oddest one yet. Some people pretend to farm in the background. Rock bit! No, this is completely baffling. And now someone who looks like Cleo Roccas does some highland dancing. Not a clue. Inevitably surprise hit of the evening.
Current Betfair odds: 42
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Ah! To make up for the fact that it's been several years since anyone did something a bit like Tarkan's Simarik, here's Armenia's rather drum-filled take on it. It even features a giant drum which the singer stands on and everything. Includes two pop missiles - a stop-starty bit and a duh-duh-duh...duhduh! ending.
Current Betfair odds: 8
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The opening is The Ketchup Song and she looks a bit like a Sugababe. Actually the chorus sounds like The Ketchup Song as well. They've tried to make it a bit credible though. We're not buying it.
Current Betfair odds: 320
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Stick to their winning rawk formula. The lead singer's a little bit Justin Hawkins, a little bit Bodyform advert. This shouldn't have trouble getting through what's a fairly weak semi-final thus far I wouldn't have thought. Could go all the way? Don't bet against it. It's not in English though.
Current Betfair odds: 48
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It's I'll Stand By You meets Julie and Ludwig.
Last year was a really interesting year for Eurovision. I don't know what's happened this year.
Current Betfair odds: 40
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He's handsome and he can sing a bit like Justin Timberlake. It's not a greatly interesting song though. This is the favourite to win the whole thing! He represented Russia in 2006.
Current Betfair odds: 6.2
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This sounds like it's been produced by Timbaland. They do love the Eurovision in Greece don't they? This will sail through, even if she does sound a little bit like Paula Abdul.
Current Betfair odds: 28
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Hmm... so who should qualify out of that lot? Well ten will go through, we reckon it will be Greece, Finland, Armenia, Andorra, Slovenia, Azerbaijan, Belgium, Israel, Russian and either Ireland or Estonia. In honesty, not a particularly interesting semi, hopefully the second one will be a bit more entertaining.
Semi-final 1:
22nd May: Semi-final 2
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By the numbers inoffensive Eurodance. Won't trouble the scorekeepers too much, I would have thought.
Current Betfair odds: 120
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SWEDEN
Charlotte Perrelli
Hero |
Good catchy chorus that'd go well over the credits, will finish about 6th. Perrelli won with Take Me To Your Heaven in 1999 (as Charlotte Nilsson).
Current Betfair odds: 15.5
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It is not often you get songs sung about your local supermarket meat counter, but year that role has been filled by, ironically, Turkey. It's eighties hair rock but without the hair. Not bad, but not particularly memorable either.
Current Betfair odds: 40
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Ooh! Straight in with a bit of dirty urban electro disco pop. Ukraine are quite good at Eurovision aren't they? We like this, it's a got a hint of Christina Agruilera's Dirrrty.
Current Betfair odds: 9.6
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Michael Bolton.
Current Betfair odds: 510
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Powerful ballad. Could do well.
Current Betfair odds: 220
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Two powerful ballads in a row. Albania's is better, although this ups the tempo towards the end.
Current Betfair odds: 65
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This is OK, again going for a Timbaland sort of vibe but the chorus is a bit weak. If the video on the site is from the Czech national final then the singer is a bit off key which is never a good sign.
Current Betfair odds: 520
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"Hasta la vista... I'm gonna miss you" doesn't quite rhyme. Otherwise this is a decent stab at dramatic rocky pop.
Current Betfair odds: 170
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Well this is already a winner before we've even pressed play. And as it turns out it's the modern day Tenpole Tudor. With a hi hi ho with a hi hi hey, this is completely awesome.
Current Betfair odds: 38 < This price will not last and it will pick up votes from everybody. It will be under 10-1 after the semi, get in now.
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CROATIA
Kraljevi ulice &
75 cents
Romanca
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Oh man, this has got to follow Latvia. It's got an old person rapping! It's the Croatian folk-pop version of Rialto's My Idiot Twin.
Current Betfair odds: 360
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Bulgaria! After last year's excellent tribal drums of Water, this year we have DJ scratching interspersed with a woman doing ska. Well done Bulgaria, you're relatively new to the Eurovision game, and despite the fact you're not going to win you're an entirely worthwhile addition to the competition.
Current Betfair odds: 34
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It'd another reasonable above average tune from the Danes that probably won't make it past the semis, in honesty.
Current Betfair odds: 130
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Goodness it's been a long afternoon. This is pleasant and no more.
Current Betfair odds: 150
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Only ten more to go! Wake me up when it's over. It'll be interesting to see which 40 seconds they cut from the song to fit it into the three minutes allowed on stage.
Current Betfair odds: 250
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Obvious Terry Wogan potential here. Lots of effort gone into the Mission Impossible-esque video which then transforms into a song which is nothing like it. Quite a good piece of modern pop although we expect the live version will be less interesting than the video.
Current Betfair odds: 85
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Begins as something to smash plates to, changes style halfway through but never really gets going I don't think.
Current Betfair odds: 490
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Ah! Simarik makes a comeback with Macedonia's answer to Rod, Jane and Freddy. Actually it's not that similar when it gets into it. This is OK.
Current Betfair odds: 420
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Another year Portugal fails to get through the semi.
Current Betfair odds: 140
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Well if you only watch one semi, we heartily recommend you try and watch the second one. Who will qualify? We reckon Sweden, Ukraine, Albania, Belarus, Latvia, Bulgaria, Malta, Macedonia, Turkey and, I don't know, Hungary.
Semi-final 2:
That leaves just five more to go!
24th May: The Final
Five countries are guaranteed a place in the final - Serbia as hosts and last year's winners, and the Big Four of the UK, France, Spain and Germany. Here are those songs in the drawn order.
UNITED KINGDOM
Andy Abraham
Even If |
We thought it was a decent bit of funk when it won the UK final, our position that hasn't changed. Unfortunately it's got a lousy draw - it will be the second song of the evening. No-one's ever won being the second act and we don't think that's about to change - it should give us the best points in years, but that will still only be mid-table.
Current Betfair odds: 250
Eurovision: Your Decision commentary:
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German girl group with a song that sounds Avril Lavinge-esque. Decent, but again shafted by the draw - this will be the fourth act on the Saturday.
Current Betfair odds: 210
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FRANCE
Sébastien Tellier
Divine
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Quirky electronic song from the quirky French star who pretends to be Jesus in the video. Apparently this is the first time the french song will be sung entirely in English. Don't tell the Academie! Nice song. Decent draw (19th). Won't win.
Current Betfair odds: 230
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Joke song from Spain! And if they can get the joke dancing right on the night it'll do very well especially from the western contingent, and especially if Ireland and Estonia don't get through. But I don't think it's a winner. It's got a great draw though - 22nd of 25.
Current Betfair odds: 40
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SERBIA
Jelena Tomašević feat. Bora Dugic
Oro
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Don't have a video yet! Must be good though, they're second favourite. Drawn 23rd.
Current Betfair odds: 7.4
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That's it! All 45 (well, 44) songs from this year's Eurovision. Our pick of the bunch is Latvia, but we've been wrong the last couple of years so who knows?
Final:
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