Alright, let’s ATTEMPT TO DO THIS:
Safebreakers – Sky’s answer to Scrapheap Challenge by the sounds of it. (2000, Monday, Sky 1)
Only Connect – first in a brand new series, tonight featuring Social Networkers vs Vegetarians. If the Social Networkers lose they’ll probably start a riot. (SATIRE) (2030, Monday, BBC4)
Deal or No Deal – New season. Beginning early, apparently. (1600, Weekdays, C4)
Shooting Stars – Fun. Don’t expect a billing every week though. (2200, Monday, BBC2)
Take the Money and Run – although I personally won’t be able to watch this until the Bother’s Bar Mega-Amazeocomputer arrives 🙁 (Tuesday, ABC)
Celebrity Big Brother – Well, it’s finally here and actually I’m quite excited in a way I wasn’t six months ago although doubtless I’ll stop watching after the first few days since I’m out most evenings these days (that’s right, get me and my life). No word on live feed yet, but Endemol Joe has promised it and he’s never been wrong about anything yet. (2100, Thursday, Channel 5)
The Bachelor – Girls play Kiss Chase with Gavin Henson. (2200, Friday, Channel 5)
Epic Win – really looking forward to this, it’s You Bet! for the modern demographics. (1730, Saturday, BBC1)
All Star Family Fortunes – this is an hour long. Let’s just stop to think about that for a second. (1900, Saturday, ITV1)
Secret Fortune – Nick Knowles is offered up as a lamb to the slaughter against… (2000, Saturday, BBC1)
The X Factor – weighing in at a restrained 75 minutes for the opener. (2000, Saturday, ITV1)
Fort Boyard 2011 – My arm aches now. It’s the kast in what has been a great if not quite perfect season, hopefully nit the last ever. (Saturday, France2)