It’s the European Tram Driver Championships from Frankfurt! This is exactly the sort of thing Channel 5 should be all over, it’s a) niche, b) really watchable and c) has quite a bit of British interest. It’s basically You Bet! without Stephen Mulhern. Also I love the Eurovision-style postcards, but with trams, introducing each team.

Six disciplines this year, each one with 500 points available:

• Start/Stop: At the front of the tram is a bowl of water filled to the brim. The driver must smoothly accelerate and stop in three zones to keep as much water in the bowl as possible.
• Brake on target: The driver must run to the back of the tram, accelerate to at least 20km/h then when they are ready, set a variable emergency brake and raise their hands so they can’t touch the controls anymore. They have to try and stop the cab as close to a barrier as possible.
• Billiards: Stop the cab so you push a cue which will push a ball up the billiard table, points awarded for where the ball lands. You only get one go at this, if you stop early or knock the table over you score nothing.
• Blind stop: With the speedometer covered, the driver must accelerate to at least 25km/h then stop. The quicker they stop the more points they get, but if they don’t get up to the speed they score nothing.
• Precision stop: Stop the cab so the middle of the second set of doors lines up with an arrow, without using cameras or mirrors. More points for accuracy.
• Attention Test: Along the course are five signs, put the signs on the board in order. Then sprint to the finish button to stop the clock!

We first saw this years ago where it also had a bowling element but it’s not there this year.

Presumably this is a local production and as such it’s not perfect by any means – sometimes the director misses a shot or the angle doesn’t show us a score clearly, and it would be nice if we had a speedo for the Blind Stop bit. Most annoyingly is that you don’t see a running score for the current team, just a constant top three. Still, though.

Christmas is approaching and the TV tie-ins have begun.

Puzzle Post have THREE TV tie-ins for you to buy and play.

Have you ever wanted to have a full blown Eastenders-style argument around the Christmas dinner table? Well now you can with this set of OFFICIAL The Traitors tie-in Christmas crackers, you get six and each one comes with a hat, a joke, and a card that determines whether you’re a Faithful or a Traitor or not, and you can play a game with missions and banishments and that. They should have had miniature plastic toy weapons to represent being a Traitor really, but never mind. Anyway they’re £25 for 6, with some extra role cards if you have a few more people to play with.

They’re also doing Richard Osman’s House of Games ones and have updated their Taskmaster ones for 2024.

Meanwhile there’s a Gladiators cash-in book coming out, which looks a bit like an annual but they haven’t called it that. It’s a shame it’s coming out before the next series as presumably it will only have series one stories to go on. Still though.

We’re aware there’s a Wheel of Fortune board game coming out but it’s not on Amazon yet. Do you know of any other new Christmas Cash-ins?

The Chase is celebrating it’s 15th anniversary today with a special ‘Double Trouble’ show even though, er, its birthday was the 29th June. Still though, congrats to one of the most successful formats of the modern era, a tight quiz with a loose sense of humour.

Of course a look back in the archives suggest we weren’t quite so enamoured with it initially, as the post on the 29th June 2009 will attest (sadly the old comments were under a different system which has since disappeared) as it only managed “a little bit great” on the Jim Bowen Great-o-meter, although illustrating it with a picture of Lorraine Chase was quite funny. Hopefully this quote from 10th September won’t ever see the light of day again as it would probably be faintly embarrassing for the writer:

This is worthy of a wider mention I think, thanks to Milky Jack for pointing out this article in Broadcast Now suggesting that The Chase and Divided are set to come back for longer runs.

I sort of feel sorry for The Fuse, I think it’s probably the better format (although both are not brilliant, The Chase could do with a little polishing in that regard), but if you will insist on whooping contestants and Austin Healy…

It’s a shame there’s no sign of Spin Star, we were going to apply for it. Shouty Balls is unlikely to return.

As I always like to point out around The Chase’s birthday, in an alternate universe Austin Healy is the biggest name in light entertainment, the story was that two ITV departments got two weeks to air their own teatime quiz and the one that did the best would get a full commission. You can read what we thought about The Fuse on the 13th July post, although crikey if we thought it was better it certainly doesn’t come across.

To celebrate Oasis returning after a 15 year absence, we’re returning to an old feature we’ve not done for 13 months, we must be “mad for it!!!!!” Also barely anything new has been made, but it feels like the cogs are beginning to turn a bit so let’s see.

The Results

Right, this is the first one for a while, let’s see if it’s been worth the wait. As usual, we don’t know the veracity of statements, only the people making the suggestions know that but we believe there’s a grain of plausibility to many of them, you are advised not to take anything suggested as gospel.

In For a Penny’s USA episode (the shows final episode) was actually meant ton double as a backdoor pilot for it on Disney+, which is why it’s length.

(Other than that, it’s a dry spell, because, look at this industry 😭)

In For A Penny deserves a lot of credit for being the only vox pop show on telly in the world ever to actually have worked. It looks and feels like just as much of a waste of time as all the other ones, but thanks to Mulhern and a good team did succeed in being quite funny. Do you remember that one on BBC where a man ran around streets asking people questions for ten whole pounds? Can you believe nobody gave a toss?

Actually Billy on the Street was good as well. Perhaps if it comes back Stephen Mulhern can just run round London shouting at people, perhaps make that two.

Three from the next person which I’ll split up otherwise you lot will throw a strop.

Wheels are already in motion for who to replace Richard Osman when he bows out of House of Games. Due to his busy schedule of books, films and podcasts he’ll be moving on, even though they’ve moved the production further south.

Having some idea of a succession in place feels like a sensible move as it does feel like an inevitability. I know they filmed some recently, and he’s not mentioned leaving, but that’s for a future press release.

Of course the question is who could replace him? Who is the female version of Richard Osman? The answer of course is Sue Perkins, they wouldn’t even need to change the graphic.

I expect it will be a bit of a thankless role whoever takes over, only for whoever takes over them getting some sort of audience credit. I would hope that the title would legally become Sue Perkins’ (Or Whoever) Richard Osman’s House of Games, and production will shout at anybody not using the full and official title.

Josie Gibson recently hosted a runthrough for ITV for a Saturday early evening adaptation of Dobble. It didn’t get through to pilot stage as ITV are currently only looking for legacy formats.

Yeah I could see Dobble working as a early evening format. They should pitch Josie Gibson’s Don’t Try This At Home.

Which is why Goldenballs is being considered as a return to daytime ITV. Older audiences remember it fondly and the younger generation have rediscovered it on Youtube thanks in part to the Sidemen.

I wasn’t sure what to make of that buuuttt…

A Golden Balls reboot with Roman Kemp is in the early stages of production for next year. I think they’re going for a younger, primetime audience after the success of viral clips (mainly the ‘Split or Steal’ section) from it on TikTok.

It’s incredible to think it’s fifteen years since Golden Balls, I remember going to see the pilot at Teddington but having to leave before the Split or Steal bit to catch a train. You younger kids won’t remember how massive Golden Balls was at the time, and that massiveness was… about half of what The Chase managed at its peak. Still though, this feels like the sort of thing people want to will into existence, I expect it will be similarly flash-in-the-pan, but at least it’s fairly likely there will be a flash.

Double The Money axed by Channel 4

A pity as it turns out, but I’m not sure what other avenues it could go down.

Amanda Holden has recently filmed a pilot for a new show called ‘The Inner Circle’, best described as quiz Golden Balls – my guess is it’s gunning for the early Saturday evening slot. It’s the first foray into the game show world of a production company which previously mainly did documentaries, and the format is genuinely one of the worst things I’ve ever come across.

Oh man, don’t tease us with a car crash like this, I hope Holden was in full Eurovision jury vote giving mode.

Celeb Gladiators is a New Years special

This feels like the sort of thing someone’s just submitted for a laugh. New Year’s Day has become a bit of a blockbuster night in terms of television these days though, probably a bit more than Xmas Day. It’s a Wednesday this year, what if they did Celeb Glads followed by launching S3 of The Traitors? Food for thought. Especially if you’re ITV.

In With A Shout in the danger zone for the chop

It sounds like 99 to Beat will be paired up with the extended Britain’s Got Talent but that’s not going to last through the entire four month extended run, so if not In With A Shout, which didn’t set the world alight but didn’t collapse either, then what? Perhaps it opens up a possibility space for The Floor.

Plan is for a third series of Popmaster TV

No surprise I don’t think.

Romesh’s new game show Parents Evening due to begin in November on Saturday Nights in the 9pm slot on ITV. Glad Stool Pigeon is back missed it!

Ah OK, that suggests it will be going out once Password has finished. There will be a Show Discussion post going up for that on Saturday morning, don’t worry.

The Masked Dancer has not been cancelled, but only ‘rested’, and a return is being eyed for next year

Whhhhyyyyyyyyyy

The upcoming Survivor Aus vs USA season has been expanded to contestants from multiple countries, including the uk reboot from last year. It will be a significantly shorter season though, >20 days

Why aren’t they going down the The Challenge route and calling it The Survivor World Championship? Then when an American doesn’t win, American bloggers can declare it “unofficial”. Anyway, there were only about one person from Survivor UK who’d probably be any good, so good luck Christopher if that’s you.

Early last year MTV filmed a ‘Shore’ type show in Dublin with the working title ‘Life of the Party’. A couple of weeks into filming though the cast were sent home being told filming would resume shortly, but they never picked up filming again..

It’s Eden 2024, sort of!

99 to beat is going to rival Gladiators for number of sad injury edits.

I find it incredible – people being allergic to hay or whatever, fine, unlucky, but 99 to Beat is things like throwing eggs to each other without breaking and winding up toilet rolls not full contact sport, I am absolutely fascinated to find out how many injuries there were by the end of the series.

A potential 2nd run of E4’s Josh Must Win is being talked about, title will be ‘The Underdog: x Must Win’, different celeb panel too

The first one did a bit better than I anticipated, I think, so this shouldn’t be ruled out.

Phew, well perhaps we won’t leave it 13 months until the next one.

Alright, it’s Schlag den Star this Saturday (join us in the Discord), and Password finally begins next Saturday on the 31st – we’ll have a Show Discussion post up, and you can read a recording report from all the way from June 2023 in the meantime if you want).

However recently on Youtube I came across not one, not two, but THREE episodes of 1980s… how would you describe it? Pro-celebrity motoring vehicle challenge show Driving Force, an annual event hosted by Mike Smith assisted by Stirling Moss and Murray Walker. I vaguely remember it for it’s trials segments, where you try and get an old car up up a hill course between flags but by and large lots of the events are quite inventive and fun.

The first one was from 1984 and features a gamut of 1984 celebrities competing – Rowan Atkinson! Anneka Rice! Nigel Mansell! Murray Walker not being very good but having a great time! And they do things like tank racing, digging and filling a ditch, rallying, artic truck reversing and of course the thrilling finale: tyre changing. It’s all rather jolly.

The next ep from 1987 is probably the weakest of the three in terms of events and celebs although does feature a more fun tank driving course and Gary Wilmot, and quite a fun blindfold driving event.

1989 is the best one of the lot, it’s set on Jersey and has the most fun 80s celebs (Barry McGuigan from boxing! Mark King from Level 42! Kathy Tayler from TV-am! Unfortunate disgraced celeb Philip Schofield!) has an excellent finale where not only do they have to change a tyre, but then pick a one of four different vehicles to make it across the causeway before the tide gets in and makes everything more difficult. Can be summed up with “Jonathan Palmer took his helicopter out last night to have a look at the course, but we got wind of it so we changed it.”

All rather good fun, and it’s quite sad that the none-more-80s-genre of “people racing around vehicles that you’ve never heard of” that things like this and Run The Gauntlet just sort of stopped around 1991. What the hell is a Hydrodisc (28 minutes in here)?