“Iiiiin one, It’s a teasmaid from Argos. D’yer remember Argos?”

By | October 4, 2024

TV Zone reporting Bullseye returning with Freddie Flintoff at the helm with a one-off Christmas special, but they’re never really one-off specials are they? I kind of wish they’d just leave it alone, it’s cult status derived almost entirely from its original point in history and people involved.

But let’s go wild, darts is extremely popular, why shouldn’t it work as a show on its own merits in 2024? Whenever they’ve bought it back for Gameshow Marathon or Epic Gameshow (and, indeed Challenge TV with Dave Spikey) they’ve stuck pretty rigidly to the points and prize structures of the 1980s (although see Daniel Hurst in the comments). As a game played for points, Bullseye ‘works’ fine. Are people really going to be excited by people answering a question for about £34 in 2024 for a show standing on its own merits? It feels unlikely.

Everyone is going “but look… Luke Littler!” and yes, Luke Littler. But unless they’ve changed the format so it’s a quizzing celebrity paired up with a famous darts player Big Break style, he’ll only be on for two minutes throwing for charity (possibly winning a whopping £600+), and then so what really? But what if they do change the format up so it’s a quizzer and a professional? Well that’s already been done when it was used for Gameshow Marathon, and the professionals just hit the Bullseye all the time anyway so it wasn’t actually that much fun. Anyway, Sky’s One Hundred and Eighty was a perfectly serviceable quiz darts format that did exactly this, and was also hosted by Flintoff anyway.

How are you going to get an hour out of it? Epic Gameshow played round one twice and had an endgame that lasted 15-20 minutes. Fine, but it never hit the same as 101 or more in six darts, let’s have a look at what you could have won, did it?

Basically you’d need to change everything to make it worthwhile in 2024, and if you’ve changed everything then you’ve just got a new show but with a cartoon bull that can wander across the screen occasionally. Is that what people want? I guess we’ll be finding out soon enough. Besides, it should be Peter Kay for Bullseye, Freddie Flintoff ought to be rebooting The Indoor League.

“They” should just do a Bullseye FAST Channel, but that’d probably sink Challenge, so.

Edit: Apply if you want.

Suss-suss-studio

By | October 2, 2024

Deadline reporting that the TV arm of Pinewood Studios will be shutting down end of 2025 as basically not enough telly being made so things like Taskmaster and RuPaul’s Drag Race UK (and also Gordon Ramsay’s Future Food Stars it says here, but I think it’s a bit late for that) will need to find new homes. Their film studios will still be making things. On the one hand, it’s a sad indictment on the state of TV industry and we hope that those with jobs affected will get work with Pinewood’s more profitable side.

On the other hand as an audience member Pinewood is an absolute pain in the arse to get to. So here is my OFFICIAL ranking of my favourite TV studios as someone who has to get the train from Cambridge and is too cheap/working class to get a taxi.

  1. The Elstrees – I’m plonking them both together here, Elstree Film and TV Studios and BBC Elstree are literally 400 yards away from each other and the experience has been pretty similar all told in both places. One has the Eastenders set. One let you marvel at the Big Brother house which really did back onto to a big Tescos, and as well as the light entertainment that drips from all pores, in the 15 minute walk from Elstree and Borehamwood train station (itself just a twenty minute ride from St Pancras) there’s a Nandos! A Big Tesco! A McDonalds! A pub! And a Wimpy! Whether you want a Bender-In-A-Bun or a quick toilet stop, A visit to Elstree and Borehamwood has you covered. Also both have audience foyers. Handy when it’s cold!
  2. Television Centre – although this would have been number one back in the day. Still fun to go and see recordings there, being literally opposite Wood Lane station is a big “yes”, and Shepherd’s Bush being 100 yards down the road a big plus. Also a Westfield, but last time I went the Burger King had shut up shop which was annoying. You can wander into the doughnut and “pretend you’ve gone behind the scenes of Top Gear (if they were still making it)”. One of the all time best Audience Foyers when it was proper BBC, these days you just have to stand in the rain.
  3. ITV Towers When It Still Existed (aka The London Studios) – Very much feeling like The Home Of Light Entertainment, ten minutes walk from Waterloo Station but you do have to go through a large tunnel complex past an IMAX to get to Upper Ground, which does run the risk of running into buskers. No foyer, lots of lining up against walls. Lots of pictures of people from GMTV and the like on the walls. Much missed.
  4. Wembley Studios When It Still Existed (aka The Fountain Studios) – This looks fascinatingly unassuming from the outside on the road but it was pretty massive inside – if you had to go in the back entrance a bit of a different matter. Huge amount of stairs to get back to Wembley station. Nearby McDonalds.
  5. Riverside Studios before they remade it – out in Hammersmith. I don’t think I’ve been back since they did it up again, I saw Two Tribes with the popular Richard Osman being filmed there before it shut. Don’t remember much about it in honesty but did have a foyer/bar area, the walk from the local tube station is much more “city” than the other ones.
  6. Wimbledon Studios Which May Or May Not Still Be A Going Concern, Don’t Know – Only saw one thing here, an episode of Celebrity Tipping Point where I sat next to Ben Shephard’s delightful mum. Unfortunately I apparently booked my train ticket for the wrong day and had to pay for another PEAK one from the inspector when I got down there. I remember it being a bit of a trek from Wimbledon station but not too bad. Anyway, I don’t know if it’s still a going concern, what is fun is that it’s literally the Sun Hill Police Station set from The Bill which was still dressed as the Sun Hill Police Station Set from The Bill, right down to the vending machine offering 20p cans of Coke but which turned out to be a prop.
  7. Vinter’s Park, Maidstone – A bit of a hassle to get there from Maidstone Station, about 40 minutes walk if I remember correctly, but as someone who grew up in TVS land will always have a special place in my heart. Don’t think I’ve been here since the first reboot of Dale’s Supermarket Sweep, mind.
  8. Shepperton Studios – I saw the pilot of Goldenballs here. It was about 50 minute walk from the train station. It rained.
  9. Salford, Glasgow, Bristol etc – Sorry, I’m sure these places are modern and lovely but I’m unwilling to pay £250 for train tickets and a hotel and two days of leave just to watch an underwhelming quiz. London I can get down and back in an evening.
  10. Pinewood Studios – an hour’s walk along main roads from Uxbridge station, which is already the end of the line. Your show will inevitably overrun, as big scale shows are wont to do, so it’s not much fun making the trip in the dark. Website suggested there’s a bespoke bus service but I’ve never seen it running so presume it’s been made up. If you film at Pinewood you’ve probably also used serial ticket overbookers Applause Store so will I will have thought less of you.
  11. Shinfield Studios – yeah naaaaah.

What’s your favourite TV studio? Let us know in the comments!

No Dad, don’t make me watch this!

By | September 30, 2024

First of all, Happy The Traitors NZ On IPlayer Day Everybody (specifically those people who like The Traitors but not enough to jump through the hoops to watch foreign ones)!

Secondly, this pilot for Big Break has been knocking about for a few months, but it seems to have been made public now so for interest here it is, starring Mike Reid off of Runaround giving off big snooker hall energy, Len Ganley as the referee not quite landing as John Virgo-esque foil, an extremely plinky-plonky theme tune, endless amounts of beeping, and an endgame that they did a good job of simplifying by the time it made telly.

Korea’s Crime Scene is coming to Netflix

By | September 26, 2024

How fun! Alerted to this on the Discord:

https://twitter.com/netflixkcontent/status/1839168470061080876
We used to quite enjoy a bit of Crime Scene back in the day, during Genius MANIA, we wrote this re S1:

This game stars six Korean celebs – some you may recognize, some new ones (Bother’s Bar mascot Hong Jinho, Jun Hyanmoo, Park Jiyoon, Henry, Lim Banggeul, NS Yoonji) and together they play a game that’s part Whodunnit murder-mystery dinner and part One Night Werewolf

Someone has been murdered (fictionally) and the six contestants pick roles of six people who might have been the murderer. Each of them gets some time to learn the character, their motiviations and movements. One of them however is the murderer and is aware of all the clues that point to them and throughout the course of the game must try and throw suspicion onto the other characters.

Each case spans two episodes, the first one is largely exposition – the characters explained, they get to go around the crime scene looking for clues, some discussion. The second episode for me is where the real meat lies – by this point the contestants are more into their characters and take playing detective more seriously. At the end, they all vote on who they think the murderer is. The person with the most votes goes to “jail” and we’ll find out if they’ve been correctly convicted or not – a correct conviction by the majority means that majority gets to take bags of gold coins, if the murderer walks free they get to take all the bags of coins that would have been won by the incorrect majority.

It starts as a game of exploration, becomes a game of logic and ends up being a really fun game of bluff.

It’s very stylishly done (i.e. uses the Tron Legacy soundtrack) and has a fun live viewer participation poll element.

I don’t think it’s as good as The Genius, but I certainly think it would have an easier chance of translating to the West.

It has since been rebooted and sold to other Asian countries. Right now a lot of open questions – are these existing episodes or (more likely I think) New for Netflix ones? And also there’s no date. Still though.

MORE Xmas Cash-ins

By | September 24, 2024

This is what this page has become now, as we trundle towards paying out for another two-years or not for what’s basically a signpost these days. Still what are you going to do? Buy things for Xmas! This is the second selection, a first can be found here.

It’s the tie-in book for great-once-you-get-past-the-intro podcast Lateral!

100 questions with show-style notes to baffle and bewitch your friends and/or family with. All the fun of going “ahhh, mmm, you’re sort of in the right sort of area sort of” like they do on the show, £13.59 on paperback, £8.99 on Kindle and it’s out on 14th November. Mainly new questions on offer with a couple from the podcast, if the podcast ad read is anything to go by.

But why stop there when you can go on a journey across the world through the medium of puzzles? The Race Across The World Official Puzzle Book promises to be an “action-packed” trip through the first three routes except with puzzles. I hope there’s a puzzle where you have to find a lost passport on a packed bus like what seems to happen every series now. It is £12.19 flexibound (oooh) and is out today, apparently October 24th! The Amazon page has a sample you can read (lots of white space and pictures) if you want a preview. We get a small kickback from Amazon links, but you’re a grown up and can buy elsewhere if you want – I’m not your Dad!!!

OR! Why not buy the official The 1% Club book out November 7th? £13.79 in paperback or £7.99 on Kindle. No preview given although I think you’ve probably got a decent idea of what to expect, puzzles laid out in difficulty order. Don’t know if they are new for the book or taken from the show, so buyer beware.

Tram-hochzeit

By | September 14, 2024

It’s the European Tram Driver Championships from Frankfurt! This is exactly the sort of thing Channel 5 should be all over, it’s a) niche, b) really watchable and c) has quite a bit of British interest. It’s basically You Bet! without Stephen Mulhern. Also I love the Eurovision-style postcards, but with trams, introducing each team.

Six disciplines this year, each one with 500 points available:

  • Start/Stop: At the front of the tram is a bowl of water filled to the brim. The driver must smoothly accelerate and stop in three zones to keep as much water in the bowl as possible.
  • Brake on target: The driver must run to the back of the tram, accelerate to at least 20km/h then when they are ready, set a variable emergency brake and raise their hands so they can’t touch the controls anymore. They have to try and stop the cab as close to a barrier as possible.
  • Billiards: Stop the cab so you push a cue which will push a ball up the billiard table, points awarded for where the ball lands. You only get one go at this, if you stop early or knock the table over you score nothing.
  • Blind stop: With the speedometer covered, the driver must accelerate to at least 25km/h then stop. The quicker they stop the more points they get, but if they don’t get up to the speed they score nothing.
  • Precision stop: Stop the cab so the middle of the second set of doors lines up with an arrow, without using cameras or mirrors. More points for accuracy.
  • Attention Test: Along the course are five signs, put the signs on the board in order. Then sprint to the finish button to stop the clock!

We first saw this years ago where it also had a bowling element but it’s not there this year.

Presumably this is a local production and as such it’s not perfect by any means – sometimes the director misses a shot or the angle doesn’t show us a score clearly, and it would be nice if we had a speedo for the Blind Stop bit. Most annoyingly is that you don’t see a running score for the current team, just a constant top three. Still, though.