So for whatever reason at my work’s tea table yesterday conversation got round to the father of utilitarianism Jeremy Bentham (via Abducted in Plain Sight, best of luck) and someone pointed out that his actual body was on display at University College London, but with a specially made head as they suggested the actual head was likely too disgusting for public consumption so they made a different head for public display.

At that point I compared him to Worzel Gummidge, the scarecrow played by Jon Pertwee who also had the ability to change heads. But because I’m the sort of guy who is popular with the 16-34 demo and hangs out with people ten years younger (I’m 37) obviously this went over their heads.

I then asked if they knew who Una Stubbs was. Of course not. I asked if I should give you a clue. My older colleague understood.

Anyway, the point is they should do 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Give Us A Clue.

That frankly aren’t really worth their own show discussion posts.

• Test Drive (BBC Scotland) – Wrestler/comic Grado commentates and officiates as three pairs drive to a destination in Scotland being asked questions along the way by their Sat Nav. Right answers mean the direct route, wrong answers lead to a three mile diversion. During the drive each team faces a “pit stop”, 10 quickfire questions, each one knocking a mile off the total (the winners, you see, are determined on mileage rather than time. Effectively the game boils down to -3pts for a wrong answer on the road, +1pt for each Pit Stop question answered correctly. Prize is £500.). Meanwhile Grado makes brief visits to local places. All in all it’s pleasant but not very compelling, like a combination of The Getaway Car and Antiques Road Trip, minus both The Stig and antiques. I had no idea who Grado was, until Wrestling Twitter went OMG when I mentioned it, presumably he’s Scotland’s answer to The Rock. Made by Bandicoot, of Chase the Case fame.
• The Hangover Games (E4) – young adults get drunk under the pretense of a show called Britain’s Best Night Out, except the next morning they discover they’re there for The Hangover Games, which is basically a combination of mildly humiliating dares (can you drink this yard of blended kebab? Who can deal with having their hair shaved off?) and questions based on what happened the previous night (can you remember the name of the girl you snogged, that sort of thing). Top prize £1,000 (between six). Hosted by Matt Richardson (the one who isn’t Matt Edmondson) and Pointless Friend Ken Cheung, who doesn’t really add anything. I will politely suggest I’m out of E4’s demographic these days and that in rehashing the milder bits of The Word from 25 years ago describes itself as “fresh”.
• Project Z (CITV) – starts 5pm on CITV today. English version of S4C’s Prosiect Z, kids try to escape their school which has been overrun by zombies by solving puzzles. I Survived The Zombie Apocalypse in miniature, and hopefully the 30 minute running time means it can make the most of the premise rather than being surprisingly boring.

Coming to ITV2.

If our celebrities don’t know the answer to Joel’s unusual questions, they can say “Hey Tracey!” and enlist the help of his very own virtual assistant. But forget your high-end Silicon Valley artificial intelligence – Tracey was thrown together by some sixth formers in the late 90’s as part of their technology coursework… and she can usually be found tucking into a pie or painting her nails.  

Apropos of nothing:

Thanks to Kniwt for bringing up the recently launched Chris and Julia’s Sunday Night Takeaway and their rather ingeniously reversioned theme tune which surely ought to be used for a Just Eat sponsorship down the line.

However it got me thinking. And rather dangerously another theme got stuck in my head, and it is of course the classic My Kind of Town on ABC, Johnny Vaughan’s attempt to crack America with a Toothbrush-eque show. Didn’t pan out.

There is literally no reason for this except I’ve had the theme tune in my head this morning. It’s the CBBC crossword quiz Sick As A Parrot. Feels like a lot of effort to play along with these days (Although it’s not like any of the clues are hard or anything, and clearly they couldn’t be bothered to come up with something for “salon”), but still a mildly clever idea. This episode features guests John Kettley, who is a weatherman, and the Chuckle Brothers.