I am excited I might throw up a little, the press release for the new season of Fort Boyard is up. The list of new games isn’t quite complete I don’t think (it doesn’t mention Willy’s Kitchen, Mr Boo at all) and there are likely to be new duels and Hall of Judgement games as well.

Only seven games listed, which is a bit disappointing (as ever), but at least they look quite good:

• The Casino – players earn coins from a one-armed bandit. The trouble is whilst the bandit is on the wall at one end of the room, the handle is attached to a chair near the door which will spin for ten seconds each time it’s pulled. Between the two a narrow beam, and inevitable hilarity. Earn enough coins to win the key.
• The Library – A redo of the Librarian’s Column – the key is in a perspex box underneath a stack of books, the column must be destroyed to get the key. But oh no! The column was also holding up a bit of ceiling which is now blocking the door. Rebuild the tower to get out. NEW FOR 2013 – it’s done on a turntable.
• The Haunted Manor – Players search an old manor for bits of code that will unlock the box with the key in. But there are lots of surprises in store…
• The Laundrette – Two players get in a giant washing machine. They must run to rotate the drum to build up a water level in a pipe, if the drum stops spinning the water will fall. Build it high enough to get the key.
• Submarine Training – This looks like something directly lifted from I’m a Celeb, contestant in a tank which gradually fills up with water and eels and so on, they must use tools to open tubes which will release the code to the clue cannister. There is also an emergency button to end the game.
• The Umbrellas – Contestants walk a tightrope whilst holding on to two umbrellas attached to their own guide ropes. For some reason.
• The Pump – Contestant rides a bike underwater to pump air into a large pipe, when enough has been pumped the code is released.

Intriguing stuff, they are filming the UK version right now. Fort Boyard in France is set to begin on July 6th.

Fifty 50 Show reaches its MILESTONE thirtieth episode where I chat with Lewis Murphy about lots of gameshow related news with emphasis on the new Million Pound Drop. Look out for the brilliant dubstep gag I make, which you’ll already have heard if you were about on Twitter yesterday morning. Enjoyed recording this one.

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SPEAKING OF WHICH next Saturday’s MPD special guests are none other than Sarah Alexander and Mr Brian Butterfield himself Peter Serafinowicz. I’d love to watch, but unfortunately on Saturday we’ll be providing a live commentary for the first Schlag den Star on Pro Sieben. More details on Saturday.

Meanwhile on Sunday it’s the SUPER FUN SUPER SIZED SUPER STACKED BSOP SUPER FINAL. 5000 chips and ten minute blinds and it’s open to anyone with a PokerStars account who can legally play and is willing to stake the $20 + $2 entry fee. It will determine the winner of the BSOP, but even if you can’t win (and even if you’ve never played before), you’re welcome to come and join us, there’ll hopefully be lots of money on the table. SKILL YOUR WAY TO VICTORY. It’s the last game of the BSOP season!

Watching Big Brother. Has anyone noticed this?

Mole Michael

Ben Linus, from Lost.

From Wikipedia: He began as the antagonist but becomes something of an uneasy ally to the main characters; even so, however, throughout the series, he is persistently characterized by spontaneous coldblooded actions and the shroud of moral ambiguity, Michael is the People’s Puppet.

Actually while we’re here:

Matthew Fox, Dr Jack Shephard from Lost.

Callum from Big Brother.

Mmm. Whilst we’re here! Hold ’em on Sunday night from 8pm – $5.50, open to anyone.

Big Brother started last night and it was good fun, Emma Willis was great and Rylan was much better than anticipated on Bit On The Side. The big twist is that contestant Michael is an actor and is “The People’s Puppet” – not a true housemate and can’t win, and he’ll be doing our evil bidding. I think his story will be fascinating come the end of the series, this is much more interpersonal than say The Mole. I suspect to pull it off you’re going to need rather sociopathic tendencies. We’ll see how long he’s able to pull it off for.

Anyway there’s a second launch show tonight with six more housemates going in, let’s hope it does a bit better than it did against The Secret Life of Cats last night.

Except it’s up against the new series of The All New Million Pound Possibly Two Million Pound Drop, also at 9pm on C4. What’s gonna happen?

Meanwhile they’re bringing back Blind Date with Cilla for a one-off 50th anniversary of Cilla in showbiz special. Let’s hope they bring back the “ditch or date” element and voiceover Tommy which were really successful in rejuvenating the show in its final years *straightface*.

In other Endemol news, the celeb line-up for Your Face Sounds Familiar has been released and, well…

• Alexander Armstrong
• Bobby Davro
• Denise Lewis OBE
• Natalie Anderson (Emmerdale)
• Matt Johnson (dunno)
• Cheryl Fergison

Alexander Armstrong. Blimey. Also Bobby Davro. I wonder. Anyway, starts end of June on ITV.

So towards the end of last year we caught wind of a show Fremantle were developing called Bang Bang. In it, couples are challenged to run videogame-style obstacle courses against the clock, one running the course, the other opening the way by hitting balloon targets with a paintball gun, inevitably hovering in front of their partner with hilarious consequences. Halfway through they swap places, with even more hilarious consequences. I’m not sure about the show’s long term potential, but the pitch film is funny (via The Most Bizarre TV Shows In The World blog – which is also where we first saw Dero, so worth a look).

WELL! I’ve heard on the grapevine that the BBC are going to do this as Kiss Bang Wallop. Saturday evenings in the old Total Wipeout slot would be my guess.

Incredibly ITV and 12 Yard are coming to the Games With Sand Timers Party with Julia Bradbury fronted Take on the Twisters coming to ITV afternoons (presumably this was the show under the working title Twisted). Here is the Broadcast article but it’s probably behind a paywall so I’ll summarise:

• It’s hosted by Julia Bradbury off of Countryfile.
• 30 episodes, 60 minutes each.
• “Contestants will use knowledge and strategy to outwit a giant timer and defeat their opponents.”
• But it’s better than that because I have been informed there are in fact MULTIPLE TIMERS.
• Contestants can win thousands of pounds by answering multiple choice and quickfire questions.
• The title sounds like a sort of 80s action cartoon in the Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors mould, so I hope it has a similar rawk theme tune.
• I don’t know how you outwit a giant timer, but there we are.

I’m sure Julia Bradbury will be fine, she hosted Pump It Up with Andy Collins after all. More news as we get it.

I believe it is only Endemol now who haven’t jumped on the sand timer bandwagon, so get on with it.

Edit: Have been informed of the basic premise – One player plays against the clock, there are six timers of various lengths, a correct answer upends a timer. Whichever timers are still running at the end of time earn money. Best player of four plays the final with eight timers, and the money hidden behind one of them. Sounds like it would be entertainingly messy to play, we’ll see how it comes across on screen.