Merry Cringemas!

Fronting a talent contest live to millions is something that might look easy, but behind the unflappable exterior the legs are paddling like mad to keep the ship afloat. You have to be the genial host – the conduit of fun! You have to have to keep your opinions largely to yourself, whilst drawing out insight from people paid to give insight.

And then, most importantly of all you have to be able to “do” the reveal. You are the Angel Gabriel in this nativity of talent, the messenger sent to enforce the will of the people above, the first person who will tell you your life has changed for better, or indeed for worse.

Sometimes the information is on a card. Sometimes delivered through an earpiece. The most important thing, after timing your gap for maximum suspense and tension, is to break the tension by delivering the correct name at the end of it.

Poor Steve Harvey. Jump to three minutes in.

 

Embarrassing for all involved. Still, Steve’s a popular man fronting a hugely popular Family Feud revival, and so they’ll be jokes but everyone will probably be over it in the new year.

Luckily for Steve he’s in good company.

It’s 2010 and the grand live finale of Australia’s Next Top Model. Sarah Murdoch hosts. Two contestants remain. For the winner: ad campaign, contract, car, cash and the cover of the magazine. Nobody will remember the loser. Or at least they wouldn’t normally:

 

But it’s not just wacky foreigners who just can’t decide who has actually won a contest. Sometimes it happens to British TV and radio legends as well. In 2007 Eurovision stalwart Terry Wogan had to be corrected by Fearne Cotton as to who had won the right to represent the UK in the 2007 Eurovision Song Contest in that year’s Making Your Mind Up.

 

As it turns out Wogan might have been right to favour Cyndi over Scooch. Still Wogan’s on the national treasure list so we forgive even if we don’t forget. But woe betide you if you’re a show making a mistake when you’re in decline – the last thing you need is to give an audience more ammo to throw at you. Olly Murs was unfortunate in handling a judging situation on The X Factor correctly earlier this year. Easily laughed off in a show at peak popularity, less easy if people smell blood.

 

We have no doubt it was a genuine mistake rather than something dodgy, but if people want to believe it’s dodgy…

Occasionally it’s not the host’s fault at all and they just have to deal with an unfortunate situation, like Arisa Cox the host of Canada’s Big Brother. Big Brother Canada has a format not unlike the US one, where it’s a power struggle largely decided between themselves but with UK style loose format twists and public votes based around them. However the final is jury style, so the last seven housemates houseguests evicted vote on who they want to win and the decision is final. They cast their vote by placing a key with the choice of their winner into a keybox. Unfortunately one contestant put the wrong key in, gifting that person $100,000, but not before kicking up a fuss.

 

And sometimes the news gets it wrong. Lenny Henry is awarded a knighthood. The footage the UK’s top commercial news service ITN illustrates this with footage of Ainsley Harriot at The Comedy Store.

With thanks to various people on Twitter for suggestions. Merry Cringemas!