Right gang, this is the neat edited version (kisses keyboard):

• When you go in, because it is a time critical game, all watches, mobile phones, mp3 players etc are confiscated from the audience by BBC Security.
• Getting into the studio was a prompt affair although there was a lot of faffing before the recording got started. I don’t know how long, I didn’t have a watch. Warm-up was Johnny Cowling (I think?) – hadn’t come across him before. He was OK, basically a Cornishman on constant edge of a nervous breakdown.
• The set (done in Studio 8, BBC geeks) has the contestant podiums down one end, a large safe down the other (basically a large box with a double slidey screen door), a large screen behind the contestants and a large screen floor. Hosts podium off center stage. A radar motif everywhere, and blue chaser dots either side of the stage like someone had just seen Bugs or something.
• And who is the host? It is none other than F1 host and Saturday morning alumini Jake Humphreys. At the beginning of the recording he jokingly said that if anything went wrong it wouldn’t be his fault. Well fair play to him, apart from one thing I think he got it right first time every time, practically.
• Three couples (by coupe we mean any two people with a pre-existing relationship – friends, family, lovers) put their relationships to the test in order to break the safe. At the beginning of the show the safe is locked and a 36 minute countdown started. Two teams fall by the wayside, the winners will open the safe by hitting deactivation buttons during the one second the countdown hits zero. To make it more difficult the clock will disappear with thirty seconds remaining.
• If that sounds familiar to long term readers of the Bar, that’s because it’s practically exactly the same premise as Dick and Dom’s The Clock is Ticking we saw over four years ago (31st May). Oh yes, there’s going to be a format where people count to thirty in their head whether we like it or not.
• Round one is a quickfire round. Each team’s podium is split vertically in two and can move backwards and forwards via pneumatics – ooh yes. This round is played twice, each time one player is in charge of the buzzer, the teammate is moved to the bak. Each question requires two answers, the buzzee gives one of them but their partner has to give the other (help me Punters – what other show did this? – Edit: Perfect Strangers thanks Paul). This goes on for two minutes  -right answers worth a grand, wrong answers freeze you out of the next question (except they evidently hadn’t rigged the buzzer system to freeze people out properly). Repeat with the roles reversed and the value upped to two grand. Lowest total is out. Winning scores are combined and put in the prize fund, a camera pointed into the safe shows bundles of cash being pushed on a table by more pneumatics for no discernable reason.
• The quickfire bit could have been a bit better – it might be useful for Jake to offer an ‘and?’ once one person gives their answer, partly to fill dead air, partly to eliminate partner confusion. Also he forgot to mention the freezing out quite a lot which you just shouldn’t do (in fact the only pick up at the end of the show was several variations on this theme).
• Round two is worth potentially £70k. Three questions are asked to each couple, again alternating after each question. Each time the person at the back writes their answer on screen. The person in front can answer the question or if they trust their partner let them answer it for double money, potentially 10k, 20k and 40k. This sounds as though it should lead to some interesting decisions, but really it’s all about if you go for the 40k or not. Again, lowest total disappears. Winning total added to the prize fund.
• Lottery break at this point. In case you’re wondering yes the clocks that adorn the safe and floor are realtime, although they jump here the length of the lottery insert.
• Final round, it’s time to break the safe. They’re offered the opportunity to increase the amount of time the safe will remain unlocked for. A category comes up, the pair decide who wants to take it. Each correct answer earns an extra second, but you can’t individually answer more than two of the four. Time decided there’s some filling whilst the clock ticks down to thirty (a wall decends between them) then it’s game on. The big clocks disappear. Simply they must both push their buttons when they think the clock has hit zero. They lose if either of them hit early, but they can be late by as much time as they earnt and to win both of them must be in that zone. Another lottery break.
• Now the reveal. On either side of the safe are five sets of lights, one for each potential second each player could ring in. Jake enquires if Player A rang in during the first winning second. Lengthy pause, then the lights turn red or green for failure or success. Then repeat for Player B. Then repeat for up to eight more times in what must rank as one of the most tedious reveals in television (seriously, what would have been wrong with BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM, with each BOOM representing a second?). The reveal on Clock is Ticking was boring but quick. The reveal here here look’s pretty but is as tedious as anything. And they didn’t even win! (Incidentally bonus points to Jake for being honest with the audience in pointing out it’s just a pilot and there isn’t actually thousands of pounds being played for – you’d be surprised how many pilot audience members don’t realise this and get a bit pissed off that they’ve had the wool pulled over their eyes when they out it’s not for real).
• Audience response seemed to run the gamut. My main feeling was it’s probably about time they turned The Waiting Game with Ruby Wax into a lottery show. On the plus side, it was meant to finish at 10pm, we were out by 9:10, so that was nice.
• The show is a Talkbalk Thames production.