No carbohydrates before Marbohydrates

By | June 8, 2015

Now you’d probably never guess but I’m not really a TOWIE watcher, although I have totes picked up on some of the lingo over the years by osmosis, but my Mum is a big fan and it’s clearly with that 50+ female demographic in mind ITV2 have decided to relaunch the hysterically awful Non-Celebrity Celebrity Love Island last night, the show nobody wanted ten years ago and still seemingly the show nobody wanted going by last night’s viewing figures.

It started with Caroline Flack getting on the phone to apparently all her sexy singleton mates in a VT that’s either deliberately cheesey or just a hilariously rubbish idea in the first place. Then we met the guys! And they all look practically identical, and all their names  start with the fashionable letter J (there’s Josh, Jordan, Jonathan, Jeremiah, Jeffrey and Lee who’s the thick funny one). After some top lad banter we get to meet the women in a sort of reversal of Take Me Out. To be fair the females seem to be a bit deeper than the men, or at least you can tell them apart.

And then there was no full frontal nudity or graphic sex making the whole 90 minutes basically a waste of time for everybody, then they threw in two Italian guys with Northern accents who, amazingly, not only look like the other six guys but are actually identical twins.

Anyway it was basically rubbish but I did end up watching it all so there’s that. In six week’s time one of the couples will win £50,000 and you can vote for free for everything with the official app. Meanwhile we’re working on a format that mixes Love Island, First Dates and The Undateables called Awkward Archipelago – if any TV types are reading call me.

In other news a friend of mine saw Keep It In The Family being recorded in Elstree yesterday. He had a great time and suggested the end game had been tweaked a bit – there are only four gifts, and Bradley’s got his own box (it’s Wheel of Fortune all over again). I don’t know the specific details but I’m sure the excitement will be palpable when it returns to ITV soon.

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